Think Before You Feel Him or Her!

The first step to keep hope for him or her can be the decisive step that will change the years ahead and maybe even a lifetime. If the decision is correct and wise, it will positively impact the future. But it will not happen as that for everyone.

That is the reality!

The emotional and attraction-based mechanism takes place within one person first. That person tends to let the other party know they are interested in the other person, creating a relationship between them. This is how the initial bond is created between the two opposite personalities. Sometimes, both parties feel the attraction at the same time.

The importance is that when you feel that you are interested in a person and you need to get to know more about that person or want to get closer, the other party might not have the same feelings about you at that moment. But the internal reaction process starts with your attraction to the other person. From this moment, the mind expects the body to create the reactive and chemical processes to give you the whole experience of interest and affection towards the other person. This is what you call a crush. It is the result of the entire process explained above.

The next step of the process is to let the other person know about your interest and try your best to make that person yours. But the process and the experience are different for everyone. There are several reasons why the process is different from person to person.

Some people always live in the crush stage with many expectations about the other person. They will not let the other party know of the interest they have in them. There might be different reasons for it. So they try hard to maintain self-discipline and self-control on their feelings about the other person.

Some people, without even letting the other person who the interest you have about them, build up a lot of hope. And this stage is severe. Usually, a feeling of attraction or hope about a person will not make us lose control of our emotions over them. It happens at a meager rate.

But in a situation like this, the mind tends to follow the abovementioned process, making you feel that the other party is with you. It could be an unlimited imagination that does not have a genuine relationship between the two.

In a situation like this, you will have to try hard and suffer mentally because you genuinely feel you need that person. It is the beginning of the pressure you will be handling.

Some come to a stage where you will feel that a single frown of the other person would upset you. If you were in control of your thoughts and feelings about that person from the beginning, the results would be very much different.

Below are some of the instances where a crush could happen.

Someone much older than you

Someone famous that you see on media regularly

Someone younger than you

A person with a voice or an appearance that you love

A feeling of a moment and someone you see for a moment that would create an instant attraction.

Someone very close to you, like a friend or a relative

A married person

These are a few examples. But the critical point is that these situations do not overgrow or do not make you lose control. The mind can have firm control over your emotions in these situations. Most of these instances could be more practical, even if you want to have a relationship with the person of interest. For example, if your interest is in someone already married, the chances are meager to have a relationship with that person.

So, in situations like this, the mindsets have limitations as the methods to control emotions. So, they stay within the set limits most of the time. But there are chances that the result is the opposite. Sometimes, we see people trapped in these situations, even if they are married and committed to someone else. Most of the time, they do not consider the future consequences as they are too addicted to it.

The crush happens to the people who can get close to the person of their interest more than 80%. And this is when we do not try to control our emotions and feelings of the other person.

This topic is one area that would lead you up to the breakup pain topic that I discussed in the earlier articles. That is why this topic needs more explanation. The younger generation should know more about this topic to make the right decision. If not, that first decision would drastically change things for a lifetime. Therefore, understanding the relationships is very much needed among the younger generation.

Sometimes, someone's life may be chaotic for a reason with no unfortunate importance. If you have a good understanding, constantly analyze your life situations, and tend to react in the most practical and meaningful manner, most of the negative impacts that would come to life due to a relationship could be avoided.

Sometimes, you, too, might have experienced these situations in life. Or these might be the experiences of someone very close to you. And these might come across in life in the future. To make the most of life and enjoy every moment, we must understand the relationships we build and more than anything else about ourselves.

Written by,

Nandimal Edirisooriya

Nandimal Edirisooriya

I am Nandimal Edirisooriya, Sri Lanka's first and only Relationship & Breakup Expert, also known as a Relationship & Breakup Coach. I provide psychological insights to help individuals quickly overcome the pain of relationship challenges.

Healster N empowers individuals to overcome relationship breakups and find emotional healing. With expert guidance and proven strategies, we help you regain strength, clarity, and peace of mind. Start your journey to healing today.

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