Change, Quitting & Psychology

To recover from the traumatic relationship caused by an unsuccessful relationship, you should have sound knowledge about understanding the particular situation. One needs to have a good understanding of when to take the initial step for a change. It must be done before the traumatic relationship makes you suffer for an entire life or an incident of the particular toxic relationship makes your life change for the worse.

The initial bond of a love relationship is based on love; the level of attraction has to be similar in a similar period. I have mentioned that this can happen to anyone, whether a person with a very negative personality or an evil character in my previous articles,

However, only a mental or physical relationship, not a relationship, will ensure the particular person belongs to the other. Nor will they behave or change their behavior according to our intentions and ways of living. This is because a relationship or an attraction will form between two entirely different personalities and minds.

As I have mentioned in my previous articles, we cannot 100% guarantee that someone would argue about different personalities and mindsets and try to understand them to live their entire life trying to figure them out.

But there are rare occasions that it happens. It is because one compromises to take the risk about the differences in the mindsets and personalities for that feeling of affection which is more powerful and favorable at that moment. It is entirely based on the attraction towards the other person. It is a more impulsive and harder-to-control type of feeling.

And this creates some trust in us and makes us move forward in the situation. It is more like an addiction that makes us blind to certain truths of the relationship that would be built and move forward hereafter. And it makes us decide based on this addiction but not on understanding the situation. Our mind automatically gets used to this situation.

It is a fact that even if you are married, it is only a mental and physical relationship but not in the sense of ownership. The status of any connection is bound to change, and it is the same between a married couple. So, people can undoubtedly change even after marriage. That is the sole reason people leave marriages even after having kids. Some people get into another involvement while being married to another person.

If it is a common fact that people can change even after marriage and having kids, which is one of the most weighing responsibilities of married life, it is not surprising that people change after all the promises, protection, and even the after the open conversation with the parents. It is the typical case in many of the relationships other than a very few that are based on a profound understanding of the qualities and the personality of the two. All the other connections are based purely on attraction.

If anyone is in a long-term relationship, it directly relates to my explanations earlier. This kind of relationship is based on analytical thinking, which has helped them stay firm about the relationship. This is a mental status that the couple should inculcate if they are willing to stay happy for an entire lifetime. But even if you are ready to lead a committed life with your partner, who has a personality that is bound to change anytime, the results will be negative with an uncertain relationship's future. The reason for this is that attraction decreases when the relationship reaches maturity. So the partner with a changing personality has a higher tendency to lose interest when the relationship matures. So, every action related to this relationship will make you hurt and sad.

We must remember that we cannot judge or understand a person 100% even if we live a lifetime with them. Not even a mother could judge the children's nature or personality accurately. In such an environment, you need at least a 60% understanding of the partner with the home you would be sharing the rest of your life.

So your relationship before marriage has an equal weight for a successful life after marriage. But remember, the remaining 40% might include the mysterious side of that person, the ever-changing nature, and the sense of uncertainty. Even if you think that you know inside out about that person, you only know a certain percentage of that person. But though there is a risk, we tend to make decisions based on that person's interest, dedication, and trust. This is common to everybody who has or wishes to have a relationship.

We should know the reactions and the internal chemical behavior that occurs within us after a breakup. All these factors make us change, and love, liking, and feelings are the key factors that make us decide to have a relationship. The chemical mentioned above in the brain might occur because of a person we are attracted to. But once that relationship becomes a long-term relationship, the process becomes routine. It will happen daily, blend with the daily routines, and move you forward.

That is why we lose interest in most things we love doing after a breakup. Sometimes essential activities like sleep and meals will also not happen according to the schedule because the mind is not at ease after a breakup. If the mind is not in the proper condition, almost all the regular activities of your routine will be a mess. It is the same chemistry that takes place in a love relationship. When our body gets used to the new system created by the changed internal functions due to a relationship, It becomes routine.

But the routine gets disturbed if that system gets upset in the middle. That imbalance is why we feel sad and lost after a breakup. It is the reason that disturbs our daily routine, like proper meals and enough sleep. But if you have that person again by your side, all these negative points become positive, and things gradually return to normal.

You have two ways to recover from a breakup, even in the worst condition.

Getting together with that person and making everything fall into place and back to normal [addiction]

Getting rid of that person's thoughts and feelings and letting the memories go. Trying to live the life that you lived before meeting that person. {permanent]

In the first point, the mind makes decisions based on the change. Even if you get together with that person, you will face the same consequences with the partner change, which will gradually become normal.

But the second point requires only you. The decision-making power is only yours. So, the other person's changes are not a problem at all. If you get into this situation, you will see your future. You will start loving your family. You can fulfill the tasks you left behind and considered unimportant. You can change for the better and plan things for your internal and external development.

If you are in a relationship where you suffer and are sad more than the times you spend happily, you need to decide the best option from above. If you think the relationship makes you lose focus and drags you behind, but you try to continue because of love and attraction, the best option is option 2. These types of mentalities and issues could be cured 100%. But many of us need to see the future or beyond the point where we are. Instead, we get stuck in the same situation and sometimes make mistakes that can never be corrected.

For example, if you cut your hand and get injured, healing will take some time. The hand will heal with time & it does not happen overnight. But if you continue to use the knife, the possibility is higher for the same incident to happen. Just like that, the damaged mind requires a considerable period to heal. It would be ideal if you have patience, understanding, enthusiasm, and planning to rush the process. But if you are trying to have him or her again around you, there is a considerable possibility for mental damage along the process, just as I mentioned formerly taking a knife as instance.